A strong body and a broken mind
by JulsLovesBlue
Summary: When that dumb wizard turned up on my doorstep, I should have sent him away. Instead, I grabbed my weapons and followed him. That was the worst mistake of my life. Or was it? Warnings: some heavy swearing, implications of sexual intercourse, a bit of angst and one very angry female. (Currently un-beta'd. If you find any mistakes, please point them out so I can correct them.)
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Hobbit, no matter how hard I try to convince my Dad to buy it for me.

**Author's note: **This first chapter is a bit short, but I couldn't find a better place to cut it. the next one will hopefully be longer.

* * *

Bilbo P.O.V.

The dwarfs were waiting a bit away from the run down shack. It smelled strongly of ale and an unwashed person. Gandalf led them here, claiming that the person who lived here would be invaluable to their quest. Thorin had not been very willing to accept Gandalfs advice, especially after the hobbit they'd picked up in the Shire. They waited as Gandalf knocked on the door. There was no answer. He knocked again, and kept on knocking. "You better have a fucking good reason to wake me up at this godforsaken hour! If you don't, I'm going to gut you like a pig and watch as you slowly bleed to death."

Shock was on every face of the dwarfs, but Gandalf simply puffed his pipe. Bilbo was starting to think Gandalf was addicted to smoking that pipe of his, since he never seemed to be parted form it for long. All thoughts of pipes and Gandalf left his head as the door opened. A girl stood outlined in the weak light coming from the fireplace burning behind her. Her clothes were dirty and a bottle was held in her hand. Her hair was so unwashed Bilbo couldn't tell what color it was, and her skin was a dark brown color, presumably from the dirt. All in all, she looked like she had a battle with a pig and lost. A magnificent scowl that Bilbo bet was making Thorin jealous resided on her face, and it was aimed firmly at Gandalf. "What do you want from me, you manipulative gray-haired bastard. Haven't you already taken enough from me. You took me from the thing I loved and pulled me into this hell-hole."

Gandalf looked very guilty. "I am very sorry for that. But you are needed-" That seemed to be the last straw for the poor girl. "Needed!" Her screech tore through the air. "Needed for what, exactly? You never told me. You never told me anything!" She was breathing angrily. "You didn't tell me why I'm here, you didn't tell me why it had to be me, you didn't tell my why I couldn't go back home. You just appeared one day, told me to pack my weapons and come with you. I thought you were bringing me to some pest you had. To make things worse, you told me to stay here and not leave. Since I don't know where the next big city is, I'm stuck. I would love to just leave and live on the forest, but I don't know which plants are edible, and which aren't." Her scowl seemed to get even worse, and the less experienced lads were quaking in their boots at the sight of it. "The weather is also horrible. Always to rainy and cold. I feel like a water-soaked log."

She took a deep breath through her nose and let it out through her mouth. "So Gandalf, if you hadn't gotten the message yet, I'm not going on whatever crazy suicide mission you have planned." She was about to slam the door in his face when the spoke three little words that froze her in her tracks. "There's a dragon." The door was nearly closed, so Bilbo couldn't see her expression, but by the way Gandalf was smiling, he had her hooked. How mentioning a dragon could hook somebody, Bilbo didn't know. But it hooked her, and the door opened again.

The girl seemed to have changed in a few seconds. Her back had straitened, and strength he hadn't seen before shone through her eyes. "If you are lying to me, I will torture you until the day I die. Then, in my last dying breath, I will shove a knife through your cold, black heart so that this world may be freed from your cursed existence. If you are telling the truth, you better let me have a go at that dragon, or I will kill you, then I will have a go at the dragon."

Suddenly, she looked down at herself and said. "I'm a mess. I need to take a bath, change my clothes and gather my weapons. I also need to flush the alcohol out of my system. That's going to take a day. Come back tomorrow. I'm sure you have somewhere to stay." Then she closed the door, locking out a shocked Company of dwarfs, one hobbit close to fainting and a smug wizard.

_ - o - _

The next day, after Gandalf told them about the girl they saw at the run down shack, and Thorin insulted Gandalf within an inch of his life, they were once again standing in front of the shack. The dwarfs were keeping a distance, since they didn't want to get caught in a fight in between the strange girl and Gandalf. Bilbo still didn't know what to think about her. The poor lad was trembling in his coat (since he didn't have shoes to tremble in), and was dreading the thought of spending more time with the dirt covered, crude and rude girl they had met yesterday.

Yet, at the same time, she was still a girl, and should not travel with a male group all alone. It just wasn't proper. Yes, Gandalf had said that she could fight the dragon, but he also said that Bilbo was a burglar. Which he was still a bit miffed about.

All thoughts of how she needed protecting were chased out off Bilbo's head as the door opened. The girl they had seem yesterday had disappeared. Now, a clean girl with black hair and fair skin stood in the doorway. She wore brown breeches and a brown shirt. A strange cloak covered her. It had a molted green-brown pattern and a big hood. A giant bow that was nearly as tall as Bilbo rested on her back, with a quiver full of arrows for company. Two knives sat in separate sheaths on the left side her waist, and a sword was strapped to her right side. He also caught a glimpse of silver around her neck, but it was gone before he could see what it was.

He looked at the dwarfs to see their reaction, and wasn't surprised at what he saw. They were looking at her with varying looks of shock and wariness. It seemed they didn't want her to go on the quest. Understandable. If he was going to go on a quest were lots of fighting was sure to happen he wouldn't want to take a female with him either, no matter how well armed she was.

The girl, who's name they still didn't know, walked around to the back of the shack, were they lost sight of her. A few minutes later, during which Thorin glared at Gandalf the entire time, she came back, leading a pony after her. It was already packed, with two saddle bags on either side. "Don't even try to put me on one of the common horses, Gandalf. Tug could outrun any of these weak runts. He's the best horse here." The horse tossed his head like he was agreeing. Thorin looked ready to commit murder, and Gandalf was frowning. "And just who do you think you are, to insult my possesions?"

Bilbo winched. There's the temper he'd come to know over the week. Thorin didn't like people telling him their things were better than his. He should know. He'd told Thorin that his Old Toby wasn't as good as the one Bilbo had at home, and had to endure the glares and the sharp tongue of the King Under the Mountain. He worried that the girl wouldn't want to come now. He wasn't worried that she couldn't take it, her appearance and the way Gandalf had specifically picked her had now in and he knew she could take care of herself. He shouldn't have worried.

"I'm the person who's gonna kill a dragon for a bunch of dwarfs I've never met before, so you can get in and get whatever it is you want to get. Next time you decide to mouth me off, you might want to think about the fact that I didn't sign any contract and can leave anytime I want. I don't have to fight for you, and I'm certainly not going to stick around if I'm only going to be insulted by telling the truth." The least part seemed to be directed at Gandalf, who was warning Thorin with his eyes to not open his mouth again. Gandalf seemed to think they couldn't afford to lose the girl. Who's name they still didn't know. He decided that he was going to be the first to make a good impression. He took a deep breath, and stepped forwards, ignoring the look Gandalf shot him.

"Hello miss, my name is Bilbo Baggins of the Shire. I didn't get a change to introduce myself yesterday, but I hope to make up for that now. May I have the pleasure of knowing yours?" She snorted, and seemed to be amused at the manners the hobbit was showing.

"Since you asked so nicely," That was a dig a Thorin's comment. "I'll tell you. My name is Juliana Hendrica Johanna Rosalina Sofia Gimenez Iglesias." Bilbo's head was reeling at the long name, and he wasn't the only one. "But you can call me Julie. It's easier to remember." It seemed that she had noticed the dazed looked on Bilbo's face. The other dwarfs suddenly seemed to realize that the hobbit had introduced himself before them, and they all stepped forwards, each telling her their name and craft.

Her interest was piqued when Dwalin introduced himself and said he was a smith. "A smith? Do you mind terribly if the next time we stop by a town you could maybe have a look at my weapons for me? They are made of a special metal that is very hard to work with, and I don't trust a normal smith with them. You look like you know how to swing a hammer." She glanced at the two war hammers hanging from his belt, and added. "Of both the smithy and the war kind, it seems."

Then she seemed to realize she was nearly being nice, and her face shut down. She turned without another word and swung onto her horse. She sat there as Gandalf sighed and climbed onto his own horse, the confused dwarfs and hobbit following their example. There was one question that ran through all their minds. Why the sudden mood change? Nobody but Gandalf and Julie knew the answer to that question, and neither looked like they were going to share that answer.


	2. Chapter 2 A revelation

**Authors**** note: **There is a small clue in this chapter as to Julie's past. Cookies to those of you that can find it. Make sure to review and tell me (shameless begging for reviews)

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything from the Hobbit. All of it belongs to Tolkien.

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Julie P.O.V.

How could I let down my guard like that?

I knew the answer before I even finished the question. I wasn't expecting it. It took me by surprise. I didn't think they would want to talk to me after the way they saw me in all my drunken glory. I hadn't taken my potion for a while, letting the alcohol affect my like any other person. I firmed my resolve. I would never drink again without taking my potion.

The potion I had invented years ago, when the pain became too much, but the alcohol was making me slow. Memories of the reason I drink tried to rise like a dark demon, but I pushed it down. The potion allowed me to drink as much as I wanted, and not get drunk in the normal way.

The pain and the memories got pushed down, but my reflexes and speed were not affected. I could fight better than anybody, and I always had surprise on my side. Nobody expected a drunk girl to fight very good, then before they could say 'my bad', they were on the ground clutching whatever it was that I hit.

I shook my head, scowling. Here I was, lost in thought when somebody could jump out and kill me. I pulled my special flask out of my saddle bag, and took a swig. I only needed one swallow a day, which is why it was in my saddle bag, and not my belt. Speaking of hanging on my belt, I had memories to push down.

I unhooked my normal flask of my belt, and to a big gulp. This wasn't normal alcohol, I had added a few herbs to make it stronger, since my alcohol tolerance had sky-rocketed since-. I cut of that thought violently. That way lay demons, and no good could come out of remembering. I took another swig, looking forwards to the oblivion of being mentally drunk.

_ - o - _

Bilbo P.O.V.

Bilbo frowned as Julie took a flask out of her saddle bag, took one drink, then put it back. His frown got worse as she pulled another flask form her belt, and took several big gulps in two minutes. He had seen enough brandy flasks to know when he saw one, and from the way Julie was knocking back whatever was inside, she wanted to get drunk very badly.

Bilbo himself wasn't very sure that was a good idea, since they were on a dangerous quest and all. He took one last look at Julie and when he spotted her weapons hanging from her saddle and herself, he decided that she could take care of herself.

Bilbo didn't know it yet, because while Julie was _very_ good at taking care of her body, it was her mind that was in the real danger. And Julie wasn't very good at letting people in, which was the only way to heal her. This quest was indeed going to be very dangerous, but not just in the way Bilbo thought.

_ - o - _

Julie P.O.V.

I watched from the shadows as the two princes, Fili and Kili, scared Bilbo with stories of orc raids. I nearly snorted. Like I would let myself be taken by surprise by some soulless creature. The stink would probably wake me while they were still miles away.

I tuned back into the conversation as Thorin was his usual grumpy self and made some dramatic declaration that his nephews didn't know anything, which I didn't agree with. They knew how to talk, which I wished they didn't. Over the past few days, they had pestered me with questions, which I ignored until they said something that made me snap. My eyes misted over as I remembered the question that had led to me sitting so far away from the rest of the group.

_Flashback_

_I was nearly growling with irritation as Thorin's two nephew's kept asking me more and more questions. I was about to snap at them to shut up when a question asked by the one with the brown hair froze me in my saddle. "Did you have a lover?"_

_As soon as the question came out of his mouth, he regretted it . The memories surged up, swallowing up everything in it's path ,and I couldn't hold them back. I didn't see the look on my face, but it must have been terrifying, since they both paled and the blond hit the brunette over the head. "Idiot!"_

_I looked them both deep in the eyes, and said. "Don't ever ask me that again. Don't ask me anything. Don't talk to me, don't look at me, don't ride next to me." We had attracted quite a bit of attention by now, but I didn't care. "What I have done or will do with my life is none of your business, and if you keep pestering me, I will cut out both of your tongues and wear on a cord them around my neck."_

_They paled even more, and Thorin looked ready to cut of my head, but I didn't care. I just leaned over to Tug's ears and whispered. "Get me away from here, fast." He didn't need any more urging. He shot of like an arrow from a bow, taking me away from the questions. But no matter how fast he ran, I could never get away from the memories._

_The trees got blurry, and I realized I was crying. I gave a small pull on the reins and Tug slowed down immediately, until we came to a stop. I sat there, still bowed over Tug's neck for a minute. He just stood there, knowing he couldn't help me with this. Slowly, like I was seventy years old, instead of nineteen, I leaned back, sitting up strait, then got off with the same slowness._

_My every move was carefully controlled as I walked to a tree. I turned my back to it, leaning on the rough bark. I slid down, still with that agonizing slowness, until I was sitting on the ground. Then I let go._

_A terrible scream tore out of my throat and tears poured out of my eyes, streaming down my face in waterfalls. Birds flew out of trees, scared into moving by the anguished sound that had torn through the air. A pack of wolves that had slowly been stalking me ran in fright at the sound, and ran even faster at the second scream._

_A nearby bear looked up as the pained sound ripped into his ears, and he let out a roar. The second scream drowned out his roar, and he took a step back at the power behind it. A third one sounded, and he took off, not wanting to be close to that awful sound._

__ - _o - _

The next day, I woke up and went back to the last place I had seen the group. From there I followed their trail, which a five-year old could follow without problem. By the time I had caught up with them, night had fallen.

When I waked into the camp, it became obvious that the prices were scared of me. Thorin was angry and glaring at me, the other dwarfs were following his example (except for one), Gandalf was looking at me with disappointment (maybe because of my threat to the princes) and Bilbo was looking at me with concern.

That surprised me. Nobody had looked at me with concern before, except-. I cut of that thought, before I could fall back into the pit again. I had already broken down once, no need to have a second one the night after. Stupid curse.

I dismounted and unsaddled Tug. I put the saddle under the tree furthest away from the fire while still in eyesight, and put the saddle bags on either side. I pulled my sleeping bag out of the right saddle bag, and settled down to sleep. I was nearly of into la-la land when one of the dwarfs, Nori, I think, approached me with a bowl of broth. "I thought you would appreciate something to eat. You look like you didn't have anything since yesterday's lunch."

I gave a small smile, and took the bowl. I also stole back the knife he had nicked with his one free hand when he had bended down to give me the bowl. He turned and started to walk back to the fire when I called after him. "Hey Nori, next time you try and steal one of my knifes, I'll show you how sharp they are."

He spun around, shock plain to see on his face. I knew it wasn't because of my threat, it was because I had seen him steal on of my knife and that I had taken it back. A sly grin pushed away the shock, and I knew he had taken this as a challenge. Now he would try to steal my stuff without me noticing. An answering grin spread over my own face. 'Bring it on.' it said. I wasn't going to let him in, but at least I wouldn't be bored while we traveled to that blasted mountain.

_ - o - _

Turned out, the dwarfs don't forgive easily and Dori, Nori's brother, didn't like me being on slightly good terms with his younger brother. I observed the way he hovered protectively over the youngest looking one, who's name I couldn't remember for the life of me. I could tell Dori was strong, but unused to using his strength in battle and I wasn't sure how the bookworm had managed to sneak into the Company. He didn't look like he had ever seen anything more dangerous that a fox. A small fox.

Then I turned my eyes to the other dwarfs, some of which shifted uncomfortably, like they could feel my gaze. Good. Let them be unsettled. Then maybe they would notice the orcs on the mountain across from this one. By the way, it turned out I was right. I could smell the stinky b*stards from a mile away. It was a wonder the ponies didn't smell them. But then, my nose was better then theirs.

A smirk ghosted across my face, scaring the sh*t out of the dwarfs who saw it, as I remembered how it was that my senses grew to be better than that of a wolfs. I really showed that dragon.

_Flashback_

_I was hunting a particularly sneaky water dragon when I heard a twig break snap behind me. Instantly, a knife was in my hand and throwing towards whatever it was the was behind me. I blinked, taking in the sight before me_

_There was a dude, wearing the weirdest armor I had ever seen, with my knife sticking out of his chest. Even surprised, my aim was the best in the country. Which for this poor chap meant my knife was too close to the heart to remove without him bleeding out, and leaving it in would kill him as well._

_There was a surprised look on his face, but that quickly faded as he realized that he would die in the next ten minutes. He sank to his knees, and held out a hand. I rushed to his side, a stab of guilt hitting my heart as I realized I had killed a man without even knowing his name. "You keep what you kill where I come from. But you must accept it as well." I frowned at his odd choice of last words, and sensing my confusion, he kept going._

"_My senses are far superior to any other being you will ever meet. Do you want them?" I didn't wonder about how he could give me something that he had, or how he came to be in the possession of these superior senses. All I thought about was how theses senses could help me know my surroundings ever better so this wouldn't happen again._

_I gave a nod, and the man closed his eyes. He took my hands and then began to chant. A glow surrounded his hands, and then it moved to mine. When nothing was left on his hands, the glow seeped into my own hands, and with them came the pain. Not physical pain, like a punch or a cut, but internal pain._

_My ears bled from the overload of sounds that suddenly hit my ears, and my nose itched as new smell assaulted them. I could taste what I'd had for breakfast this morning, the orange juice suddenly too sweet. My soft clothes suddenly felt like gravel on my skin, and the light shining through the leaves on the trees made my eyes water. I curled up in a ball of misery as my body got used to the better senses._

_By the time I could function like a normal human being again, the man was dead. I pulled out my knife, giving a little winch as I could hear the sucking noise as it let go of the body that it had spent the last half-an-hour in._

__ - o - __

_I remembered the dragon only when it shot some nasty water needles at me. They went clean through my shoulder, leaving behind small holes that bled a lot and hurt like a son-of-a-b*tch. Because my senses were now better, the pain was worse than normal. But my reflexes were better as well, so I when it pounced to kill, one of my daggers was already in my hands._

_When it nearly landed, I rolled, stood up and shoved the cold steel through it's eye socket. The eye popped, and sprayed my hand with liquid. When I pulled my dagger out, it was dripping in blood and brain matter. I looked down at it in amazement. My reflexes were twice as good as they were before._

_I looked away from the red blade, and looked up, my eyes unfocussed. My thoughts were running towards big bags of gold. I could make a name for myself, charge even more per dragon. Not many could ask for more money than normal, but sometimes a person just wanted to be sure that it was the dragon that died, not the hunter._

_So they paid more for a better hunter. I had been a good hunter before the weird man, but now I knew I was better. I would hear, smell and see a dragon faster. I would strike faster, and I would dodge faster. I looked back down at my blade, then at the dragon. Then I laughed. With only a dead dragon for company, I laughed until a fell to the ground. I laughed some more, then I calmed down._

_I got up, walked over to the dragon and skinned it. It's hide would prove that it was dead, and I needed a new pair of boots. I always liked blue dragon-skin._


End file.
